Cobar and his dad were extremely poor so they had to go fishing at the revolting lake in the deep dangerous jungle! Cobar, which meant fearless, went down to the lake but he didn’t come back with any fish instead they had disappeared! Where have they gone? The entire village were puzzled normally Cobar and his dad come back with a bucketful of slimy, silver fish, so they sent for one of their most fearless warriors!
Burnum, which meant great warrior, left for the search of Cobar and his dad. Burnum came to the water’s edge but suddenly a huge, ferocious Bunyip appears, as if by magic! Then the Bunyip hunted Burnum around the deep, murky lake several times until the Bunyip flopped back into the lake and disappeared.
Just in time Burnum, rotated and dashed into the deep, menacing jungle. Out of the water the Bunyip was rather slow, plodding beast. He was better off swimming than walking. Burnum trudged on some more until he came to a dark, gloomy cave. He stepped inside and he found Cobar and his dad but they were tied together with a dead snake! Burnum untied Cobar and his dad. Cobar is worried they will never escape from this horrible, dark cave but Burnum had a plan, he told Cobar and his dad.
He told Cobar and his dad to go and collect some long tree branches. Burnum lit a fire and got out his bow. Cobar and his dad came back with extremely long branches. Burnum placed the ends of the branches into the fire and fired them up into the sky so the villagers would see them and passing dirt vans would see them to. This was a mysterious place!
Just at that very moment the villagers saw the bright, orangy flares so they came to rescue Cobar, his dad and Burnum. Just when Cobar thought they would never escape from this damp, smelly cave, they heard a faint tapping noise, “tap, tap tap”. Cobar thought it was the Bunyips claws pounding on the roof of the cave but then the noise changed, it turned into chatting,
“It sounds like the villagers “Burnum exclaimed gladly. Then the top of the cave started to crack “Quick!" they heard a voice say,
“Run out of the cave before it collapses completely!” another voice said.
They ran out of the cave in desperation hoping that the Bunyip was gone and sure enough it was!
When they got back to the village they celebrated there safe return with a welcome home party. All of the village was there , they lit a fire and gather logs into a circle and Cobar and his dad told the story of the Bunyip , but the bones of the Bunyip were never found !
Amy D
Amy has done very well with her story and she has described what she said and has used powerful punctuation.
ReplyDeleteI really like Amy's story I find it very exsiting it makes you want to read on!
ReplyDeleteI liked your story, you used great noun phrases and I thought it was very imagenative. great job!
ReplyDeletefrom maisie